This and every weekday a.m. during baseball season, let's rise and shine together to recap the most recent diamond doings. Roll Call starts at Dodger Stadium, where Manny Ramirez(notes) is up next (!!!).

Game of the Day

Dodgers 5, Braves 4

Better luck next time: With the home team trailing by two runs in the bottom of the ninth inning, the grandstand percolated with anticipation. The first two Dodgers batters reached base to start a rally against Braves closer Rafael Soriano(notes). Victory was just one swing away.

As Andre Ethier(notes) strolled to the plate with a chance to cap an improbable comeback, the eyes of those remaining in the crowd focused on the on-deck circle, where MannyWood was patiently waiting for his chance to rescue the Dodgers.

"The crowd is particularly wound up," Dodgers TV announcer Vin Scully noted, "because now — unless Ethier either hits it out, or hits into a triple play — they're going to see Manny."

Considering that Soriano had only allowed two homers so

OK, it's a report in "The Onion," the nation's premier satirical newspaper, which makes up stories and passes them off as the day's events. It's for laughs. And yet, leave it to T. Herman Zweibel's rag to distill the Halladay Fiasco down to its molecules.

You see, Jays' general manager J.P. Ricciardi has a perfectly reasonable (fake) explanation for what happened. Or didn't happen.

From the Onion:

"We developed, by which I mean made up, a really good pitcher here, one of the best in baseball," said Ricciardi, who compared Halladay to a young and real Bob Gibson. "No one made an offer that came close to what Roy — who as far as they knew was a living, breathing baseball player — was worth. We went into negotiations looking for a made-up power bat, or at least two pretend arms that we could slide right into the rotation. I would have even accepted one existent major-league player.

"The best the Phillies could come up with was Kyle Drabek and a prospect to be fabricated later. You're

This and every weekday a.m. during baseball season, let's rise and shine together to recap the most recent diamond doings. Roll Call starts in Philly, where the world phreaking champions can be found at the crossroads of Happ Avenue and Pedro Boulevard. Put 'em together, you have HappyPete! But we can't put them together. Oh, no! What should manager Charlie Manuel do for a fifth starter?

Game of the Day: Phillies 7, Rockies 0

Embarrassment of pitches: The Rookie-of-the-Year candidate just tossed his second shutout of the season. The Hall-of-Fame candidate just struck out 11 in an injury rehab assignment. Thanks to the recent addition of reigning AL Cy Cliff Lee(notes), it would seem the Fightins have to either eject J.A. Happ(notes) (A.J.'s his brother) from the rotation or just keep Pedro Martinez in the minors until he makes all of the players down there lose their self-esteem.

Whatcha' gonna do, Cholly?

"Let me answer that later on," Manuel said. "I don't feel like getting into

Great news for Yankees pitching prospect Ian Kennedy(notes), who is recovering from surgery in May to treat an aneurysm near his right biceps.

Kennedy hopes to pitch in the minors this season after an encouraging workout session in which he "delivered 25 pitches off a mini-mound" at the Yanks' spring training complex in Tampa, the Associated Press reports.

Wait a second. He threw 25 pitches from a ... mini-mound?

What the heck is a mini-mound? Is it exactly like a mound-mound except one-eighth its full size?

Breathtaking!

Is it like the putt-putt golf?

Did they make him throw a fluorescent orange baseball through a windmill, or a clown's nose, or a haunted house?

Did Yankees scouts take notes with little pencils that have no erasers?

When Kennedy is ready to face live hitting, will batters swing those shorty ambidextrous putters?

This is what it's come to for Kennedy, whose future once was considered about as bright as that of Joba Chamberlain(notes) or Phil Hughes(notes).

OK, enough

This and every weekday a.m. during baseball season, let's rise and shine together to recap the most recent diamond doings. Roll Call starts at Tropicana Field, home of the Tampa Bay Rays, where the defending AL champions just said, "Here. You do it," to Evan Longoria(notes), who replied, "I am here to serve."

Game of the Day: Rays 4, Red Sox 2 (13 inn.)

Longo like candy: It was a nothing-then-all performance for Longoria, who struck out four times against BoSox pitching, but also had the game-ending home run against Takashi Saito(notes) in the 13th after tying the score with a solo shot in the eighth.

"We've seen him at his best," Boston manager Terry Francona said. "We seem to bring out a lot in him."

Four strikeouts are four strikeouts, but you have to wonder when Red Sox pitchers will go Pujols and just pitch around Longoria. He has seven homers and 24 RBIs in 11 games against them this season. Twenty-four RBIs? They ain’t learned their lesson yet.

Watch the magic!

The Rays

Don't get Prince Fielder(notes) angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

The Brewers slugger doesn't look all that mad in the photo but emotions inside Fielder (right) are about ready to boil into a rage during the final moments of the Dodgers 17-4 victory Tuesday night.

So incensed was Fielder at being hit with a pitch by right-hander Guillermo Mota(notes) in the ninth inning, he tried to storm the home team's clubhouse after the game, reporters and other witnesses said.

Hulk smash? Almost.

A security presence delayed Fielder — who was screaming mad with obscenities — from opening the door and confronting Mota or the other Dodgers. Fielder's teammates Casey McGehee(notes) and Bill Hall(notes) physically restrained him from taking his anger further.

The Dodgers had no idea what was happening 25 feet away.

From MLB.com:

Catcher Russell Martin(notes) asked reporters, "Security had to hold him back?"

"That's all right," Martin added. "I mean, it's 25 against one."

Mota, who

Most weekday evenings, Big League Stew looks at five approaching games worth monitoring. As they occur, feel free to discuss the night's happenings with other Stewies in the comment section below.

Red Sox at Rays, 7:08 ET Even if, over the next two nights, the Red Sox get caught looking past the Rays (Yankees) to an upcoming series (that starts Thursday in the Bronx) and get swept out of Tropicana Field (new Yankee Stadium is the place to be on Thursday) like a coconut shell into the Gulf of Mexico (or like a Pringles can into the Harlem River), they'd only lose two games in the standings.

So, the Yankees will still be closer in the standings no matter what happens before the start of Thursday's four-game series in New York, in case you didn't know it was coming.

And Kevin Youkilis(notes) better watch out, because Matt Garza plans to pitch inside and if someone gets hit, he gets hit.

Orioles at Tigers, 7:05 ET The latest Orioles wunderkind makes his major league debut. Brian Matusz

This and every weekday a.m. during baseball season, let's rise and shine together to recap the most recent diamond doings. Roll Call starts at Chavez y Chavez Ravine, where an Old West-style showdown went down between a pair of aging gunslingers. An improbable rally against the Brewers in the bottom of the ninth inning loaded the bases for the Dodgers, pitting Hells Bells against Hell's Haircut.

Game of the Day: Brewers 6, Dodgers 5

Home on the Mange: Trevor Hoffman(notes) looked every bit of 41 and 9/10ths years old as the Dodgers whittled Milwaukee's four-run lead down to one. Hoffman, the ninth inning's all-time leading swindler with 578 saves (including 67 against the Dodgers), got two outs in the ninth on a sacrifice bunt and a long "hold your breath" fly ball to center (as Vin Scully called it). So, he didn't exactly have L.A. quaking in its designer boots.

To ratchet-up the drama even more, up stepped that no-good varmint, Manny Ramirez(notes), with the bases loaded. Not quite