Was it famed international recording star Enrico Pallazzo or just Lt. Frank Drebin of Police Squad behind home plate Tuesday at Wrigley Field? Someone posing as an umpire got into real man in blue Bill Miller on Thursday and gave one of the funniest non-calls in major league history.

Texas Rangers right-hander Derek Lowe had thrown an 0-2 pitch that appeared to barely miss, low and away. And yet, Miller started to ring up Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Villanueva for the first out, when he stopped himself abruptly in the middle of calling strike three. Lowe even had pirouetted and started to walk off the rubber, so certain Miller had called strike three. Villanueva just stood at home plate and looked on with bemusement for a moment until Miller made it clear he hadn't called strike three (at least all of the way) and the at-bat should continue.

Miller's stunted call drew laughter from the Cubs' TV booth, where analyst Jim Deshaies said:

Schofield's 1967 Topps card, with Werth on the right. (AP)

You steal from former major leaguer Ducky Schofield, it's like stealing from Washington Nationals slugger Jayson Werth, one of his grandsons. You steal from Werth, it's like stealing from Big League Stew, where Werth did "Answer Man" in 2010. You steal from The Stew, and we're not friends anymore.

Criminals recently swiped the 1960 World Series ring belonging to Schofield, who enjoyed a 19-year major league career, mostly with the Pirates and St. Louis Cardinals. He's also the father of Dick Schofield, a longtime shortstop with the Angels.

Jon Heyman of CBS Sports reports that a break-in occurred at Ducky Schofield's home in Springfield, Ill:

"We'll get it back,'' Werth said. "If not, we'll get a replica.''

Werth says his own World Series ring, won with the Phillies in 2008, is in a safe-deposit box.

Schofield, who is 78 years old, was Dick Groat's backup at short in '60, batting a career-high .333 that season before going 1 for 3 with a walk in the Series that famously ended on a home run by Bill Mazeroski. So his ring marks an important World Series, one of the more cherished ones in baseball history.

So, if you see anyone trying to sell a ring that looks like the one below, and they can't verify where it comes from, call the police:

"Sometimes I dream ... that he is me" — Gatorade commercial from 1992

The best player in the history of basketball, Michael Jordan, was famous for playing some of his greatest games while sick with the flu. One notable time, in the 1997 NBA Finals with the Chicago Bulls, he felt deathly ill and scored 38 points to beat the Utah Jazz. It's even been alleged that MJ was poisoned.

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Bryce Harper of the Washington Nationals hasn't reached Michael Jordan's level in terms of accomplishment yet but, even at 20 years old, he already has a great "flu" story under his belt. Mark Zuckerman of CSN Washington tells it:

He received an IV before the game. He had to excuse himself during the second inning to go vomit. He felt his head spinning every time he tried to swing a bat. He had to hunch over several times after running the bases.

And Bryce Harper still managed to go 4-for-5 in the Nationals' 6-1 win over the Marlins last night.

He even hustled to beat out an infield single. Via Nats' Enquirer covering MASN, manager Davey Johnson even said he thought Harper might drop to the ground in a heap at any moment:

Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Chris Capuano is a smart person, probably one of the smartest in Major League Baseball, having graduated Duke with a degree in economics. But he's also a teammate who is duty bound to come to a colleague's aid in a time of crisis. So Capuano, brain and all, found himself sprinting from the bullpen a week ago as teammate Zack Greinke and San Diego's Carlos Quentin wrestled each other to the ground in a bench-clearing fight.

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And, as it turns out, Greinke wasn't the only Dodgers pitcher hurt during the fight, as MLB.com's Ken Gurnick reports:

(USA Today)

Apparently, it does matter if your shoes are blue and white. It matters to Major League Baseball, which warned Los Angeles Dodgers slugger Carl Crawford to never again wear the special edition Jackie Robinson cleats he wore Monday.

Crawford was among several major leaguers who received two pair of the Nike Air Jordan/Jumpman/Swingman/whatever shoes — one in Brooklyn Dodgers blue, the other in white — and wore one of each on the 66th anniversary of Robinson breaking the modern color barrier in the majors. What Crawford did was a no-no, ESPN's Mark Saxon reports:

Steve Sax, Chuck Knoblauch, Mackey Sasser: Each experienced, at some point in his career, a debilitating mental block when it came to throwing a baseball. They call it the "yips" — defined by the Mayo Clinic as "involuntary wrist spasms." It's a mental issue, though. Throwing troubles helped to end the careers of Knoblauch and Sasser before it was otherwise time. And it took Sax a long time to get over them.

The case of Ryan Zimmerman of the Washington Nationals is not like that Sax, Knoblauch or Sasser. Not yet. But he does have a throwing problem right now, and it's not a physical one.

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Mark Zuckerman of Nats Insider reports that Zimmerman, a Gold Glove winner at third base in 2009, and one of the top defensive players at his position by any metric, has made four throwing errors in the past five games:

And that doesn't include a number of routine throws that were not on target but were close enough for first baseman Adam LaRoche to snag without taking his foot off the bag.

And for the first time last night, Zimmerman publicly acknowledged the mental challenge he's facing, insisting there's nothing physically preventing him from making those throws, most notably his surgically repaired shoulder.

"Nope, shoulder feels great," he said. "That's why it's so frustrating. I was just going into the dugout and talking to some of the guys. Nobody's more frustrated than me. I'm the guy out there that doesn't want to do it more than anyone."

Things reached a point last night where Zimmerman felt the need to approach LaRoche and shortstop Ian Desmond in the Nationals dugout and ask for their advice.

Desmond is a year younger at 27 but has played in just under half as many games as Zimmerman, who recently notched his 1,000th career appearance. Desmond made 34 errors as a rookie in 2010, and beat that mark twice in the minors, so he's been there. And it's easy to tell from his comments that he looks up to Zimmerman, and doesn't think he's going to have this problem forever:

The 700 Level took note of comments made Tuesday by Philadelphia Phillies closer Jonathan Papelbon in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings. His take: Big crowds make him nervous and Big Government wants our guns.

Papelbon used to pitch for the Red Sox of course, and even said he lived in a Copley Square apartment above where one of the bombs exploded. The act of terrorism in his former city obviously leaves him shaken, but he also sounds like a person who already was made uncomfortable by working in front of large crowds of mostly anonymous people. The 700 Level writes:

The guy who looks like he isn't scared of anything when he's on the pitcher's mound brought up the Phillies' Opening Day pregame festivities where the entire team, led by Charlie Manuel and the Phillie Phanatic, walk into Citizens Bank Park through Ashburn Alley and down the outfield stands amid crowds of fans before reaching the field.

"I don't feel comfortable doing that," Papelbon said. "I really, truly don't. In today's day and age, it's gotten so crazy… everything. All this stuff going on. Shoot, man, Obama wants to take our guns from us and everything. You got this kind of stuff going on. It's a little bit insane for me. I don't really know how to take it."

I don't blame Papelbon for having nerves wading through big crowds. Similar thoughts have crossed my mind, about what some rogue person might do, even removing what happened in Boston from the equation. Still, there's a line between reasonable concern and unwarranted paranoia — and Papelbon has crossed it.

The sign taped next to the jersey reads: "From our city to your city. Our hearts and prayers go out to you, Boston. Love, Cleveland. (Getty)

Will Middlebrooks took a call from his father just as the Boston Red Sox team bus was pulling out of Fenway Park on Monday afternoon. It came about about five minutes after two bombs exploded at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. That was how, Boston Herald reporter Scott Lauber wrote, most of the players first became informed of the horrific events at Copley Square. It left them in shock as many tried to get in touch with family.

[Also: Latest updates on the Boston Marathon bombings]

Lauber writes that Middlebrooks started to tear up as he talked about speaking with his dad and the moments afterward.