(New York Post -- fameflynet photos, Getty)

"Derek Sanderson Jeter," it reads on the birth certificate. Nowhere does it say "Philip," the name on the cup of coffee New York Post paparazzi agents recently caught Jeter with as he left a Starbucks in Greenwich Village, New York. He had a look of, "Oh, seriously?" on his face as the photog went to town on his mug.

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(Oh, The Post. It's not only their fault. It's ours too. I mean, what if they were staking Jeter out to see who his girlfriend might be? Now that's the important stuff, we all can agree.)

It makes sense that Jeter would want to avoid publicity when possible, being perhaps the most famous person in New York City and constantly besieged by strangers. But that's the thing: Just about everyone recognizes him, so would giving a fake name to Starbucks have any effect? And, as The Post points out, players use fake names when checking into hotels all of the time. Restaurant reservations, sure, unless being "Derek Jeter" helps make them happen. But a coffee shop?

"Oh, I thought you might have been Derek Jeter, but since the barista called 'Philip' and you got the coffee, I'm not going to approach you now."

Unless that's not what's happening. Derek Jeter could be getting coffee for teammate Phil Hughes. What a swell guy! Say, how's his broken ankle doing?

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When history looks back on the Reid Ryan era as president of the Houston Astros, no doubt it will fondly recall the first public action Nolan Ryan's son took as head honcho:

Ryan had a snow cone vendor fired — he was an employee of Aramark — for bringing the product into a toilet stall at Minute Maid Park during an Astros game earlier this week.

The vendor was caught with his pants down around his ankles — literally — by a good Samaritan who also happened to be using the bathroom at the time. The whistleblower switched on his cell phone to record the shocking moment, and alerted another ballpark employee (who was walking into the men's room) to the vendor's behavior. The fan also demanded to see a supervisor, adding, in an unintentionally hilarious moment:

"That's realtalk."

The amateur investigative reporter — clearly the star of the 59 second clip, even though we only hear his voice — shared the video with NBC Channel 2 in Houston, who released it to the public and investigated further. In the clip, the door on the stall is closed, but looking under you clearly can see a person sitting on the toilet with a tray of snow cones (perhaps three of them had been unsold) on the ground next to him.

It might have been better to return the cones to the pantry first, or even throw them away, if the urge was so urgent. Place them on a sink? The baby changing table? Just not on the ground. But hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

And Ryan agreed, so he relieved the person of his snow cones forever:

Shane Victorino should have known better, being the hyper sort he is. Not to mention that he must be aware of Koji Uehara's reputation for energetic greetings. And yet, Victorino found himself unprepared for Uehara's celebration machine in the Boston Red Sox dugout Wednesday night at Chicago's U.S. Cellular Field.

The result? Major league comedy.

After he retired the White Sox 1-2-3 in the eighth inning, Uehara did what he often does when coming back to the dugout: He enthusiastically high fived everyone and everything in his path from one end to the other. His teammates seemed focused, from Dustin Pedroia to Will Middlebrooks. Mike Napoli even got in an athletic stance and put up two hands for a "high ten." Even clubhouse attendants put their palms at the ready.

When he came upon Victorino, who was seated on a forward bench, kind of slumped and staring off into space, Uehara didn't pause for this teammate to perk up and raise a hand — so he slapped Victorino on the right shoulder.

(Getty)

That rumble you might have heard coming from Miller Park in Milwaukee was Don Mattingly MANAGING, darn it.

Mattingly benched slugger Andre Ethier on Wednesday afternoon for the Los Angeles Dodgers' game against the Brewers, saying Ethier was lacking in his approach:

Mattingly on sitting Ethier: "I’m putting out my lineup that I feel is going to be the most competitive and going to compete the hardest."

— Dylan Hernandez (@dylanohernandez) May 22, 2013

This action comes as rumors swirl that Dodgers management is on the verge of firing Mattingly (rumors that have been pooh-poohed by Dodgers writers and Yahoo! Sports' own Tim Brown). No matter, it counts as a different approach for Mattingly, who has been known as a player's manager — i.e., not an intimidator who calls guys out in public.

The Dodgers have a big payroll and an 18-26 record, and SOMEBODY has to answer for it. But should it be Ethier, who is batting .264/.353./.405 with four home runs for $85 million through 2017? His performance seems a bit uninspired, and it's off from his career averages — but not that off. One good month and he's back in line. And he's only missed one game all season, so if Ethier has been banged up, he's been playing through it anyway.

Sounds like a competitor, yes? Not necessarily, Mattingly says, as relayed by Bill Plunkett of the Orange County Register:

(Getty)Well, ain't that a kick in the teeth. At least Chicago White Sox fans have come to expect it.

Club owner Jerry Reinsdorf reportedly told his family that, once he dies, the White Sox are to be sold — but the Chicago Bulls, which he also owns, should go to his heirs.

But daddy, the White Sox came first!

SportsBusiness Journal (via the Chicago Sun-Times) has the scoop:

The publication interviewed Reinsdorf, 77, about his longtime sports ownerships in Chicago and noted that ‘‘the family succession plan calls for the Reinsdorfs to retain their stake in the Bulls while selling the White Sox. Michael Reinsdorf [Jerry’s son and current president of the Bulls] will take his father’s place [as chairman].’’

While that might happen, Jerry Reinsdorf was clarifying things Tuesday.

‘‘Jerry has said that while it is his recommendation that the club be put up for sale once he is no longer with us, he acknowledges that his vote won’t count at that point in the discussion,’’ said Scott Reifert, the Sox’ senior vice president of communications and a longtime friend of the elder Reinsdorf. ‘‘Jerry appreciates all the care and concern about his future but is happy to still be going strong, and he plans to be around for quite a while longer.

‘‘As he said just today, he recognizes that he may be in the fourth quarter, but he’s playing for triple overtime.’’

Note the basketball analogy. Hey, whatever happened to "extra innings"?

(MLB.tv)

In becoming the youngest person in American League history and the sixth player ever from the Los Angeles Angels to hit for the cycle, Mike Trout required skill, preparation and timing to converge Tuesday night.

A favorable call by an umpire didn't hurt, either.

Trout hit a home run in the eighth inning to cap a historic night for himself, but it was his second at-bat against the Seattle Mariners — which resulted with an infield single — that got Trout's cycle started in the third inning. Only, a close look at one of the replay angles shows that Trout didn't beat lumbering pitcher Aaron Harang to the first-base bag after a grounder to Justin Smoak:

The Juice returns for season No. 6! It's almost eligible for free-agency! Stop by daily for news from the action, along with great photos, stats, video highlights and more.

Nate McLouth continued his career rebirth with the Baltimore Orioles, taking Vidal Nuno deep for a game-ending home run in a 3-2 victory against the New York Yankees to snap a six-game losing streak Tuesday night.

McLouth, an All-Star and Gold Glove winner with the Pirates in a breakthrough 2008 season, wandered around in decline during the following seasons until the Orioles picked him up as a free agent in June 2012. McLouth helped the surprising O's reach the playoffs, and has kept on helping in 2013 via a stat line of .277/.365/.423, with three homers and a league-leading 13 stolen bases coming into Tuesday. Make it four homers. After blowing three straight saves, Jim Johnson picked up the victory in relief and former Yankees outfielder Chris Dickerson hit two solo home runs.

Kung fu grip: After a killer triple by San Francisco's Gregor Blanco turned the tables on Washington in the ninth, slugger Pablo Sandoval turned the lights out in the 10th with his eighth home run, a mammoth shot to center, sending the Giants to an unlikely 4-2 victory. As Giants broadcaster Duane Kuiper said, "He put both cheeks into that one."

Walkoff this way:

(Getty)Running into that fence knocked some sense into Bryce Harper; he said doesn't want to do it again. There's only one problem: He still has to play the outfield. Harper found himself caught between making a catch and making sure of his own safety Tuesday night, and his indecision might have cost the Washington Nationals a ballgame.

With two outs in the ninth inning, Harper pulled up short in pursuit of a fly ball that fell in for a score-tying triple by Gregor Blanco. Closer Rafael Soriano had blown the save, and the San Francisco Giants won 4-2 in the 10th on a home run by Pablo Sandoval. A strong performance by Stephen Strasburg had meant nothing, the Nats fell to 23-23 on the season and the experience revealed that Harper has his confidence shaken.

Quoted by reporter Adam Kilgore in the Washington Post, Harper said:

“I don’t want to hit the frickin’ wall full-on,” Harper said. “Of course that crosses your mind after you jam into a wall. It doesn’t really feel very good. It [stinks] that I couldn’t make the play. I totally put that loss on me.”

Blanco's triple was an echo of another play Harper failed to make May 14, when he famously slammed face-first into the right-field fence at Dodger Stadium, dazing himself and needing 11 stitches to close a gash in his chin.

Many had wondered why Harper — who has displayed a sixth sense in other ways on the baseball field at age 20 — turned around so late after reaching the warning track, just before impact. A combination of inexperience and fearlessness was Harper's undoing. Well, now he has some experience. And he's afraid. It's a mental barrier Harper says he must overcome, or else.