Even Landry Fields had to be surprised by that number. (Getty Images)

With everyone glued to their television screens, laptops and phones early Tuesday afternoon awaiting news on whether the Brooklyn Nets had inked Deron Williams (they hadn't yet, but now have) or swung a deal for Dwight Howard (they hadn't, and still haven't), Brooklyn's Atlantic Division comrades north of the border made a pretty small move by comparison. ESPN.com's Marc Stein reported that the Toronto Raptors had reached a verbal agreement on an offer sheet with restricted free agent Landry Fields — who played the first two years of his NBA career with another Atlantic squad, the New York Knicks — that would reportedly pay the 24-year-old shooting guard nearly $20 million over the next three years.

At first blush, the deal seems wholly out of proportion with Fields' production through two years in the league, and especially ridiculous given the Stanford product's sophomore swoon on Broadway. After a surprisingly effective first NBA campaign that saw him go from second-round afterthought to New York's opening-night off-guard and, eventually, a first-team All-Rookie selection, Fields fell off something fierce in the lockout-shortened 2011-12 season.

All of Fields' shooting percentages declined in his second year in the league, including woeful marks of 25.6 percent from 3-point range and 56.2 percent from the foul line, along with his Player Efficiency Rating and rebound rates — most notably his defensive rebound rate, which was elite among guards and was a huge part of what made the 6-foot-7 Fields so valuable in the Knicks backcourt. He used more Knick possessions in his second year, but posted a lower per-minute scoring output and turned the ball over more frequently.

He wasn't any great shakes on the defensive end, either. Fields ranked 341st among NBA players in overall points allowed per play defended, according to Synergy Sports Technology's game charting. When you consider that more than 440 players saw NBA floor-time this season, that not all of them are counted (only guys with at least 25 plays charted appear in the rankings, per Synergy's FAQ) and that Fields played 2,009 total minutes this season (so it's not like he got burned repeatedly for one game and caught a bum stat line), that number looks really, really bad. That he ranked 185th in the NBA or worse in defending pick-and-roll ball-handlers, on post-ups, on spot-ups and in isolation doesn't help matters. (In fairness, we must note that he posted a top-100 finish in defending plays off screens, coming in at 96th overall.)

OK, so we've got a shooting guard who can't shoot, a rebounding wing whose rebounding fell off, a perimeter defender who's not a very good defender and a second-year pro whom most Knicks fans were willing, if not eager, to let walk after the team's first-round playoff exit. (This is, of course, a drastic oversimplification, but it's also about the size of how Landry Fields looks to the world.) And yet now he's getting offered better than $6.5 million a year to play the wing for a team that starts DeMar DeRozan and just drafted Terrence Ross? Are the Raptors stupid?

Heck yeah, they are. Stupid like a fox!

Mirza Teletovic applauds Billy King's latest signing, but he's pretty biased. (AP)Two days after reportedly agreeing to a four-year deal with All-Star forward Gerald Wallace and one day after trading to secure the services of All-Star wing Joe Johnson, the Brooklyn Nets found some time in their busy schedule of working to land All-Star center Dwight Howard and trying to bring back All-Star point guard Deron Williams to bring aboard a player whose resume boasts a shocking zero NBA All-Star Games. To be fair to Mirza Teletovic, though, he has yet to actually play in an NBA game, and they generally don't just put non-NBA players in the midseason exhibition. (Believe me. I've tried.)

Howard Beck of The New York Times reported via Twitter on Tuesday afternoon that the Nets and Teletovic have agreed in principle on a contract that will bring the 6-foot-9-inch Bosnian power forward to Brooklyn this coming season. After reportedly drawing interest from the Cleveland Cavaliers, New York Knicks and Phoenix Suns following a strong season in Spain (and the completion of a €2.2 million buyout with his European team), Teletovic has agreed to a three-year deal worth just under $15.7 million, meaning the Nets will use their full mid-level exception on the 26-year-old big man.

Teletovic averaged 16.3 points (on 46.3 percent field-goal shooting and a 36 percent mark from 3-point range) and 6.9 rebounds in 31.1 minutes per game last season for Caja Laboral of Spain's Liga ACB, the country's top league, where the likes of the Gasols, Ricky Rubio, Jose Calderon, Rudy Fernandez and others played before coming to the NBA. He was also the leading scorer in the 2011-12 Euroleague regular season, averaging 21.7 points and six rebounds over 10 games, and hitting 43.1 percent of his long-distance tries.

Most scouting reports suggest that he profiles as a stretch four in the NBA, an accurate shooter who prefers to play on the perimeter on offense and doesn't offer a ton on the other end, especially on the defensive glass. Writing at Nets blog Nets are Scorching, Sam Meyerkopf of Euroleague Adventures suggested reasonable NBA comparisons for Teletovic's game might include Ryan Anderson on the high side and Channing Frye on the low end:

Rockets rookie Jeremy Lamb is happy. (AP)

... and he really likes it. I mean, like, a lot.

You know what, Jeremy Lamb, let me hang that up for you. Don't want it to get all wrinkled before you ever even have a chance to put it on. Just give it over here. Right over here, Jeremy. Here. Here.

/tugs fruitlessly at red cloth

Right here, pal. We'll keep it nice and crisp.

/tugs fruitlessly at red cloth

...

/tugs fruitlessly at red cloth

OK, fine. Look all rumpled for your photos. I don't even care.

Best caption wins the greatest love story ever told, non-jersey division. Good luck.

In our last adventure: This direct-to-DVD sequel to "The Rookie" starring Shane Battier is ... surprisingly good, actually!

Welp:

I mean, if you are going to be a balloon sculptor — and it is clear, if nothing else, that Brigham Young University student/artist Joel Zae is that (as well as someone whose buddies shoot teddy bears) — then I guess you might as well make a giant balloon sculpture of LeBron James. His Miami Heat did just win the NBA championship, after all, and he was named MVP of the NBA Finals, and he didn't even lose his trophy. All sounds pretty balloon-sculpture-worthy to me.

In the description of his YouTube video, Zae said the sculpture of James took him an entire Saturday to produce and finish. You can tell that he took his time; those sinewy, striated arms, haunting bug eyes and generally monstrous/nightmare-inducing frame really look finely crafted and slaved over. The perfect thing for little Timmy's birthday party, provided you want to send all of the assembled toddlers screaming from the bouncy castle and headed for their moms. Which you probably want to do, because they were pretty loud in that bouncy castle.

Anyway: Sound work, Mr. Zae. You are clearly a master of your craft, and this is a master's work. Your craft is just kind of scary to me.

Also, be honest: You thought the first 30 seconds was just the headband too, right?

Dwight Howard has spent the better part of the last year making a mess of things as he plays out and prolongs his torturous divorce from the Orlando Magic. With his team performing like a middle-of-the-East collection of sometimes-stiffs and no clear improvement in sight, Howard openly agonized over whether to exercise his early termination option after the 2011-12 season and become a free agent. That (understandably) angered Magic fans, which (regrettably) convinced a desperate-to-be-liked Howard to opt-in for '12-13 rather than take the early exit, which (predictably) just delayed the inevitable — his eventual resumption of trade demands and attempts to force his way out of town — and prolonged the pain for Orlando and Magic fans, especially the diehards that had supported Howard since the team chose him out of high school with the No. 1 overall pick in the 2004 NBA draft.

Now, with the saga having cost coach Stan Van Gundy and general manager Otis Smith their jobs and sent the franchise into a tailspin that threatens to remove the Magic from their perch among the second tier of Eastern Conference playoff teams, Howard has once again reiterated his demand to be shipped out of Orlando. He told Yahoo! Sports NBA columnist Adrian Wojnarowski on Sunday night that he informed new Magic general manager Rob Hennigan of his desire to be traded when the two met Friday, and that there's only one destination (presumably the Brooklyn Nets) where he'll agree to sign a long-term extension. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too, but only if it's made just the way he likes it and it's served to him in Brooklyn by, I don't know, Marnie? And Magic fans — even those dyed-in-the-wool diehards — are sick of it:

And so it goes. (Screencap via @StayDwight)

Shane Battier in the bullpen? No wonder the Miami Marlins are two games under .500. (Getty Images)

You've got to assume Shane Battier's the favorite to win MLB's No Stats All-Star Final Vote, right? I mean, he's the guy for whom the phrase was invented.

Best caption wins some thoughts on the real MLB All-Star Final Vote, plus more on this year's All-Star game, from the dudes at Big League Stew, who actually know what they are talking about. Synergy! Good luck.

In our last adventure: Austin Rivers is surprised at the negligible effect getting drafted 10th overall had on his Klout score.

You guys aren't going to believe this, but New York Knicks fans were less than thrilled that their team selected Kostas Papanikolaou, a 21-year-old, 6-foot-8 forward from Greece who has played with Euroleague power Olympiacos for the past two seasons, with the 48th pick in Thursday night's 2012 NBA draft. No, I know, the idea of Knicks fans A) hating the guy they just picked and B) instantly assuming the foreign guy is a stiff really seems totally out of character for Knicks fans. But I promise, it happened. See for yourself:

In case you're not familiar with the Knicks' draft past, that instant, unstifled laughter from ESPN's broadcast crew comes in response to the fact that Knicks fans always boo the team's pick. They (Actually, let's be real; I am a Knicks fan who does this from the comfort of my own home every year, too.) We boo just about every player the Knicks pick, for a few reasons that I will cover in just a bit. For right now, though, the important note is one struck long ago by Blaine Edwards and Antoine Merriwether.

You know who else seemed to hate the pick? Marc Berman, the New York Post's Knicks beat reporter, who wrote a sharply dismissive and very perfectly tabloid-y story about what he viewed as the Knicks' failure at 48:

It's all Greek to Knicks fans who thought the club would take a step forward last night in the NBA Draft in trying to win now and build up their bench.

It wasn't worth the wait. [...]

The 21-year-old won't play for the Knicks this season and Knicks general manager Glen Grunwald gave no assurance he will play the following year either. Did somebody say Frederic Weis?

Um, maybe? I didn't hear it, but they might have. One name I have heard, though, is Georgios/Giorgos Printezis, who is Papanikolaou's teammate at Olympiacos. I've heard his name because the Post ran a picture of him alongside Berman's slam-piece. I guess Papanikolaou's such an afterthought that the Post doesn't even think it should print a picture of him in a story about how dumb it was to pick him. Bold editorial stance.

Austin Rivers checks in. (Getty Images)

We're saying we hated it, Austin Rivers. Every last one of us. Grab a razor. Borrow one from your dad. Let's get this thing taken care of, like, immediately.

In the extraordinarily unlikely event that the Duke star turned No. 10 overall pick of the New Orleans Hornets wasn't hitting social media hotspots to see what we thought about his facial hair, what else might he have been doing? Best caption wins the king of help Austin sorely needed last night. Good luck.

In our last adventure: INTO THE PAST! Like Will Ferrell's John Rocker, Karl Malone bow hunts.