It's really good to know that Rodney Stuckey intended to slam the ball through the basket with great ferocity, spatially displacing Chris Bosh in a brusque fashion in the process. Because seriously, that would've been the worst bounce pass ever. Also, if he wasn't even trying to do that, we'd have to start considering Rodney Stuckey as some sort of marvel of modern physiology, or at the very least a miracle man on par with Minnesota's legendary miracle man, Gordon Bombay. So I appreciate the clarification, Detroit Pistons play-by-play man George Blaha. Truly, I do.

Also, and perhaps more importantly, now that we know what an "I mean it" dunk looks like, we may be getting closer to a clear definition of an "I didn't mean it" dunk.

My gut tells me that JaVale McGee taking off from the free-throw line is probably a good starting point, but like Rob Fleming, my guts have [poop] for brains, especially in a world in which Andray Blatche has done stuff like this and this. Both of Blatche's

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Listen, it's not always a picnic being Blake Griffin's teammate. Case in point: Autographs. Everyone wants the guy who dunked on Timofey Mozgov's neck to sign their jersey or program or baby. The backup guard who hits 39 percent of his shots? Not so much.

That's why Randy Foye really goes the extra mile for fans that ask for his John Hancock. "Keep reaching for the stars, Alan?" You got it. Special message for your nephew who's having trouble getting used to his retainer? Done. Detailed critical analysis of Synge's culturally specific and often ironic depiction of masculinity in "The Playboy of the Western World"? Make sure you bring your XL jersey, but sure thing.

The guy's a real pro. He'll sign for hours ... if you let him.

Best caption wins a hair-heavy entreaty to turn up your radio. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Gregg Popovich has a pointed conversation.

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cac_pop_smWinner, Stephen: Pop: "Knock down that fargin' wall, knock down that fargin' wall and knock down THAT fargin'

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That's a completely inappropriate level of intensity for covering The Drifters, Gregg Popovich. You're freaking out both referee Bill Kennedy and Don Newman, your trusted assistant coach. I appreciate your commitment to pantomiming as you sing, but you can't tell a couple of guys that you're working on some new R&B numbers for your bar band, Pop of the Tops, and then come out with this malarkey.

The playoffs start in less than a month, Gregg. Get your act together. Jeez.

Best caption wins important information on why pointing is rude. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Marc Gasol gives O.J. Mayo a lift.

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cac_grizz_smWinner, Mike: Marc Gasol: Ultimate Red Rover Champion.

Runner-up, Ben: Marc Gasol, saving the world from unnecessary bro fists.

Second runner-up, THIRDY: "If management wont trade you, I will."

sgIt's easy to tell the difference between the likes of your average rec leaguer and LeBron James — there's an obvious gulf in talent, athleticism and preparation that separates the NBA's true stars from everybody else. But on the league's margins, differentiation becomes more difficult. When players haven't done enough yet to definitively earn a place in the NBA, how do you decide which guy to bring in to fill an emergency roster vacancy?

Well, if you're about to board a transatlantic flight bound for England, you might have some very specific criteria. As such, the New Jersey Nets' need became Sundiata Gaines' opportunity. From Colin Stephenson at the Star-Ledger:

When the Nets realized they needed to sign a guard to bring with them to London because of injuries to point guards Deron Williams and Jordan Farmar, Gaines happened to be home in New York, which was convenient, and he also had a valid passport, which was essential.

"I just came home — I was in Minnesota — and New Jersey

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Jack Ramsay is the kind of basketball lifer that some might say has forgotten more about the game than most of us will ever know. Of course, for that to be true, we'd have to have evidence that he's actually forgotten any of it — the Hall of Fame coach, who racked up 864 wins on NBA sidelines and led the venerated 1977 Portland Trail Blazers to a world championship, is still dropping knowledge for ESPN Radio at the tender age of 86, delivering the same brand of killer commentary that's long made him a special listen.

Another thing that makes Dr. Jack a special listen? Asking Joakim Noah before his Chicago Bulls took on the Atlanta Hawks on Tuesday night the amazingly direct question of whether the University of Florida product is surprised that he can, y'know, effectively play professional basketball. Or his making fun of a famously ugly shot is equally as good.

John Pitarresi caught the pregame interview on the radio and recapped the brilliant bit of conversation, "as best [he] can

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Few things are cuter than when Marc Gasol and O.J. Mayo play "Scooby and Scrappy" on the court.

OJAM all puffed up and looking to throw hands, except against certain opponents with whom he most certainly no longer wants the ill one-on ... Marc all smirking eyerolls and helpful hoisting ... it's just heartwarming to see. And considering how cold the weather just got inside the hearts of many Memphis Grizzlies supporters, we figured you River City cats could use some extra cockle heat. (Wait. That came out wrong.)

Best caption wins a disproportionate amount of hatred for a cartoon puppy. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Sad DeMarcus Cousins is sad.

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cac_dmc_smWinner, NBAOutsider: "Nobody pays me in gum."

Runner-up, Celts Fan: Unaffected by the score, DeMarcus Cousins is upset about his bracket.

Second runner-up, My Name is Jason: DeMarcus Cousins rues the lost opportunity to break out his cadre of Supermoon-related Timberwolves jokes.

This is the blurst of times for DeMarcus Cousins(notes), guys. His Sacramento Kings are just 2-8 in their last 10 games, and even in their most decisive victory of the season, he managed to get ejected for shoving three Minnesota Timberwolves. Couldn't even stick around to enjoy the postgame latte party (that's that thing where every King drinks really nice lattes after a win as a treat).

Then again, maybe his team's recent plight isn't all that has DMC down; after all, as NBA big men go, he's got a pretty Walt Whitman steez. So what do you think might be bumming DeMarcus out? Best caption wins a pretty great record, or at least some Prozac or something. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Kris Humphries(notes) works on rocking the cradle, much to the dismay of Omer Asik(notes).

Winner, Haik: Facepalm: You're doing it wrong.

Runner-up, AlfredY: Humphries: "Shane Battier's instructional videos taught me that face guarding is legal."

Second runner-up, Robert: Humphries: "Let's put a

I can see why you'd think that Omer Asik(notes) is a mask-wearing villain, Kris Humphries(notes). He's an imposing physical specimen from a far-flung land about whom American fans still know very little. Plus, he's always stealing extra possessions — 16 rebounds on Thursday night, including nine offensive caroms in slightly more than a half of basketball off the bench — and stealing is pretty dastardly. And his last name reminds us all of The Iron Sheik, who perpetrated a great many unkindnesses against WWF faces during the 1980s. It definitely checks out.

But as you can clearly see, that is not a mask, Kris Humphries. And he's going to keep getting away with those rebounds, no matter how much meddling you New Jersey Nets kids do.

Best caption wins a pretty chill theme song, all things considered. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Jason Kidd(notes) loses possession of the basketball in a way that makes me laugh, because I have the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old.

Winner, B. How: