pdx_fans

Great signs, Portland Trail Blazers fans. We shared them with the team — here's how they responded:

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pdx_br

"Um ... I mean, I could use 'em. Yeah, sure, I know, but still ... like, do you remember how good I was? For real?

"You know what? Never mind. Just ... yeah. It'd be nice. Good knees would be really nice. Like, really, really nice."

***

pdx_go

"Seriously? What, you have a pair? Oh my God, yes! Yes, I need them! Thank you SO MUCH! You have no idea what this means to me -- finally, I can start fresh. Finally.

"Wait ... rhetorical? A reference to Brandon's ... oh."

pdx_go1

/sotto voce

"Thank you for your question and for supporting the portland trail blazer organization. We love our fans we truly do and we appreciate your feedback. going back to hiding now."

***

pdx_nm

"We can't worry about that. Got to focus on the here and now. But I mean ... can you imagine? No way we're down 3-2 to these chumps. Sixty wins and a two seed, probably. It'd be a whole new world. A whole new ..."

/cough, sniffle

Some amazing news came out of the shootaround session before Monday night's pivotal Game 4 in the first-round Western Conference playoff series between the top-seeded San Antonio Spurs and the eighth-seeded Memphis Grizzlies. FOX Sports Memphis radio host Chris Vernon tweeted that Tony Allen — Memphis' starting shooting guard, defensive stalwart, grit/grind folk hero and unlikely spirit animal — had "a Grizzly shaved in the back of his head." Ten minutes after his initial tweet, Vernon stoked anticipation by tweeting that there would be "no pictures" because "Tony wants it to be a surprise when you see it."

Its appetite for weirdness whetted, an uber-geeked Internet basketball community waited with bated breath for photographic evidence of the cut to surface. Sadly, the national television unveiling never came to pass; about an hour before tipoff, Sports Illustrated's Chris Mannix tweeted that Allen would be "sporting [a] freshly trimmed chin [and] head tonight." Sure enough, when he

cac_rr_td

Credit Doc Rivers and the Boston Celtics coaching staff for making sure that Rajon Rondo knew about Toney Douglas' crippling phobia and was prepared to exploit it on the offensive end. That's just sharp preparation. Championship status.

Best caption wins a feeling of discomfort that you just can't hide. Good luck.

In our last adventure: "Hands up / Baby, hands up / Gimme your heart / Gimme, gimme your heart / Gimme, gimme."

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cac_mavs_smWinner, Rccostner: While most people took a minute to ponder the mid-game trivia question, "Which NBA team is continually falling short of their potential in the playoffs?", a few people were eager to submit an answer.

Runner-up, Mr. Jones: Fifteen fingers in the air, and not a single one with a ring on it.

Second runner-up, Dan Meisler: Everyone who thinks Cuban is drinking vodka, raise your hand.

From Michael Cunningham of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

"I just tried to get to my comfort zone, my sweet spot," [Jamal Crawford] said. "I felt pretty good getting there. I thought I got a good look, and it just happened to go down for me."

That sounds insane; well, it is insane. But if you don't know that Jamal Crawford is never so comfortable as when he's hoisting a contested triple from Asgard ...

Or that he earnestly believes that his "sweet spot" is anywhere he can launch a jump shot that most reasonable observers are all but sure has no prayer of finding the bottom of the net ...

Or that his definition of "a good look" varies so alarmingly from the conventional understanding of the phrase as to keep his own coaches awake most nights ...

Then you mustn't have watched many of the games Jamal Crawford has played in his 10-year NBA career. Which means it probably struck you as very surprising that he made this shot. How exciting for you!

Crawford's ludicrous banker gave his

cac_mavs

First place in the Dallas Mavericks' First Annual Benni Cinkle Dance Contest, awarded to the member of the Mavericks organization best able to replicate the dancing of Rebecca Black's friend from "Friday," goes to Tyson Chandler, because of his open palm. Second place goes to Dwane Casey, because of his blurriness. Congratulations to Tyson and Dwane!

Oh, and Mark Cuban? Worst place, because of everything. DING!

Best caption wins a moment of fame, however fleeting and compromised. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Despite Pau Gasol's attempts to repress him, Ron Artest remains irrepressible.

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cac_lakers_smWinner, Luke: Artest: "We have unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook!"

Runner-up, Bell Curve: "ICE CREAM TRUCK!"

Second runner-up, IndeedProceed: Artest: "Last one out is considered 'soft!'"

Gasol: "No. I will not let you ... ah, who cares?"

The Associated Press recap of the Miami Heat's business-like 100-94 victory over the Philadelphia 76ers in Game 3 of their first-round Eastern Conference playoff series describes the play above as follows:

In a play that showed what makes the Heat great, [LeBron] James stumbled and flipped an underhand pass to [Dwyane] Wade for a ferocious dunk that cut [the 76ers' lead] to 68-64.

"It definitely started a run for us," James said. "Luckily I was able to get rid of the ball before I traveled and D-Wade was able to slam it home."

A number of other stories written in the aftermath of the Heat silencing the Wells Fargo Center crowd also reference the play — understandably so, since it's sick as hell — and likewise emphasize the stumble and the stagger.

"Like that play, the night wasn't always pretty. It didn't go as drawn up," wrote Dave Hyde of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. "But it was effective at the end enough to carry the game. That was Thursday's storyline."

Sure, that makes sense.