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I'll admit, I was skeptical about this project at first, but after Carmelo Anthony came in on the first day of shooting with that jean jacket blarin' and ready to go, I knew he was serious about giving a respectful reboot to Johnny Depp's turn as Officer Tom Hanson. And if this goes as well as we're all expecting it to, I think the "Booker" spinoff sequel has worlds of potential. Seriously: Al Harrington is Grieco as HELL.

Best caption wins 10 minutes of figuring out who'll play the Peter DeLuise role it's Josh McRoberts, move along. Good luck.

In our last adventure: I will buy every WWE pay-per-view for the next 10 years if that organization unites Jesse Ventura and Kevin Garnett as a tag team called either The Totally Normal Brothers or Obvs Besties Duh-Point-0.

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cac_jv_kg_th_smWinner, Duh Digga: Jesse Ventura and Kevin Garnett trade stories about the good old days. Most of the stories are about guys they elbowed in the head when the ref wasn't looking.

Runner-up, Jones6: Kevin Garnett

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Hey, Ron Artest and Bill Walton? I know you thought you had the game sewn up, but you had better drop that needle and thread right the hell now, because Jesse Ventura and Kevin Garnett just sat front row at a Minnesota Lynx game.

Whatever words passed between one man whose credits include an AWA World Tag Team Championship, supporting roles in "Predator" and "The Running Man," and WINNING ELECTIONS, PLURAL, IN AMERICA, and another whose resume features an NBA Championship, 14 All-Star appearances and literally getting down on all fours and barking at Jerryd Bayless, must have been bananas. So do me a solid, play the role of Troy Hudson, listen in and tell me what got said here.

Best caption wins time to bleed, which is great, because you didn't have it before. Good luck.

In our last adventure: Jose Calderon's still having the nightmare about having to make layups while sitting on a seesaw on Spanish television. Might be time to up the dosage, Toronto Raptors medical staff.

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Jason Terry is really, really enjoying being an NBA champion.

This should come as no shock to anyone who's followed his 12-year professional career. (If you haven't been, do yourself a favor and check out this great GQ.com guest spot by SLAM Editor-at-Large Lang Whitaker, which offers up 11 things you might not know about the Dallas Mavericks' second scoring option.) JET's always been a talkative, gregarious dude, and he's always seemed to perform best late in games, when the spotlight shines the brightest. His outsized personality has long made him an excellent fit next to the typically reserved, lower-register brilliance of Dirk Nowitzki, as good a complement at the post-game presser as he is in the pick-and-pop.

It also makes him basically the perfect guy for a public relations team to have on-call in the aftermath of a championship. Given the opportunity to fill a sound vacuum, JET will; given the opportunity to fill airtime, blank notebooks and audio recorders of media members

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I know network executives can be very convincing, Jose Calderon. But I'm not so sure "The €64,000 Seesaw Layup Game" has a lengthy future on television in Spain, and I'm also not bullish on the prospects of its American analog, "The $91,436.80 Seesaw Layup Game."

It needs to be, like, "Seesaw Layup Factor," where you try to make scoop shots while a bummer of a dude who's way angry at ladies throws bugs at you or something. Or "Love Seesaw Layup Connection," where you go on a "seesaw date," which is what it's called when you sit on the seesaw, to find out if you're compatible, then tell a "woooooo"-friendly studio audience whether or not you smooched. (I bet you did, but not where peoples' butts touch it, because you are a gentleman!)

If this lockout lasts, those are the kinds of programs you should be looking to get in development, Jose. That's what audiences want to see.

Best caption wins some super fun guitar rock for a Friday. (R.I.P., Jay Reatard.) Good luck.

In our last adventure

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[EXPLETIVE] here watched "Empire" and "Jedi" last week. Ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy [EXPLETIVE] thinks he can levitate [EXPLETIVE] with his thoughts.

slaps the Larry O'Brien Trophy out of Dirk Nowitzki's hand

Knock it off.

Best caption wins a learning guide to how to use the Force in real life, which is totally possible and a completely reasonable pursuit, Internet. Good luck.

In our last adventure: INTO THE PAST! We visit a pre-Besiktas "Answer" and a pre-Lex Luthor JoeCraw.

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cac_c_ai_ref_smWinner, Jlpamc: Allen Iverson: "I'll take Whoopi to block."

Runner-up, Mr. Jones: Iverson: "Whoa, look at the border of this picture. You think it'll break if I touch it?"

Joey Crawford: "I don't know. Try it."

Second runner-up, Whatever: "Hey Joey, look at the scoreboard. That can't be right. I've scored 30 points, but it says we're losing."

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Yes, Allen Iverson and Joey Crawford, it is. We have used BDL's proprietary Wormhole! technology (NOTE: the exclamation point is critical for branding; please be sure to use in all official discussions of the proprietary Wormhole! technology) to reach 10 years into the past in search of caption-friendly images. Provided everything goes well with this initial test run, we'll do this from time to time during the offseason when the photo well runs dry. It might not be the present, but the past is still a gift, friends. Deeeeeeeeep.

I wouldn't worry about the potential effects of us rending the very essence of the universe so that we can make jokes, though. Before we fired up the Wormhole!, you were coming off another calm, drama-free NBA title run, AI, and Joey was just running a comb through that luscious hair of his. It's unthinkable that we've irreparably affected anything; nothing can possibl-eye go wrong.

Best caption wins 1.21 gigawatts' worth of gimmickry. Good luck.

In our last

The NBA Finals ended Sunday night, and in its aftermath, we've had a couple of days of heady celebration. (Not quite "dropping $110,000 at a club" heady, but it's been pretty fun!) For Dallas Mavericks fans, the small matter of Thursday's 250,000-strong victory lap still remains, but for the rest of us, the cigar smoke has started to dissipate. And though our eyes are growing clearer and our hearts are still full from arguably the best postseason in recent memory, with apologies to Coach Taylor, we can most definitely lose. Maybe even a whole season.

Mark your calendars for June 30, gang. Lockout's coming. (Hide your heart, girl.)

With the games all done and this sobering specter now staring me square in the face, I am doing the only thing that seems reasonable. I am watching, over and over, a video of a dog acting like a dog, shot with the thin pretense that the dog is sad about not having any more NBA basketball to watch for a while, and identifying wholly with that dog.

This dog's

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Maybe it's just the combination of shadows, the sharp stare that often accompanies intent listening to a question and the fact that he's literally in possession of the most precious, sought-after and powerful (non-Stern) commodity in his world, but it sure looks to me like Jason Kidd's got some diabolical business rolling across the movie screen behind his eyeballs right here.

The first thing I thought of when I saw this photo was the look of evil pleasure on Wayne's face as the electrical fire burned out of control in the super-sad ending to "Wayne's World," when he seemed to welcome the dancing flames. The second thing was Thom Yorke singing, "When I am king, you will be first against the wall." The third was, "It would be very, very horrifying to hear Jason Kidd's soft voice commanding non-human minions to step up the degree of violence with which they're torturing you." And now, that third thing is literally all I can think about.

While I curl up under my desk for some of that