Aurelio De Laurentiis and Edinson Cavani in 2010. (SSCNapoli.it)

Napoli owner and producer of awful movies Aurelio De Laurentiis has a history of conducting press conferences the odd way he goes about the rest of his existence. Last year, he unveiled Gokhan Inler to the press by having the player wear a lion mask. And now, on the final day of the summer transfer window, he decided to have a bit more fun with the media in a press conference about Edinson Cavani's future.

There have been rumors for months that Cavani would move to another club and Napoli fans have been nervous that the man who has scored an astonishing 49 goals in 68 Serie A appearances for the club would leave just before the deadline. So, ever the entertainer, De Laurentiis had a little fun with the tension. From the PA:

The new deal was announced at an elaborate press conference at which the Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis, a film producer, announced sombrely: "Sometimes, marriages come to an end. Unfortunately, Edi wants to go to England, to the cold city of Manchester.

Since England didn't appreciate how brilliant he thinks he is, 24-year-old Nicklas Bendtner has moved from Arsenal to Juventus on a season-long loan. The Serie A champions apparently met his "three demands" of any club interested in procuring his services and now he's wearing a turtleneck and trying to play down his scientifically-proven superhuman self-confidence in order to make a good first impression.

Not only does he hail Juve legend Michael Laudrup as the best Danish player ever (instead of himself), but he also says he hopes to show "good play" while also trying to "still be humble." Which is something the Euro 12 underpants advertiser and pizzeria threatener hasn't really been known for to this point.

And just in case you think Bendtner is really trying to turn over a new leaf with his new club, it's been reported that he has already asked for the No. 10 shirt recently vacated by Mr. Juve, Alessandro Del Piero (who just signed for Sydney FC). Juve apparently turned down his request. Also, he did show up dressed like a Alan Partridge.

Julio Cesar terminated his contract with Inter by mutual consent and signed a deal with QPR, bringing an end to his very successful seven years in Milan. Prior to the second leg of Inter's Europa League qualifier against Vaslui at the San Siro, he stepped out on the pitch and said goodbye and, as he's known to do, he got a bit emotional.

Before falling out of favor and being asked to take a pay cut, Cesar won five Scudetti, three Coppa Italia titles, the Champions League and Club World Cup. And now he plays for QPR, a club he says can win the Premier League.

But judging by his San Siro farewell, he won't soon forget Inter. Then again, he did have the same reaction when he bit into a pear that wasn't quite ripe last week.

The 2012/13 UEFA Champions League draw in Monaco. (Getty)

Hello. I am Jose Mourinho, the only one ever to do anything and this is my analysis of UEFA's spectacle of cheating that they call the Champions League draw. Let's begin.

Group A

Porto
Dynamo Kiev
PSG
Dinamo Zagreb

Jose says: Dynamo and Dinamo in the same group? This does not happen in nature. Note how UEFA does this in group with Porto, the first club I graced with Champions League trophy a.k.a. the Jose Mourinho Cup That He Somtimes Loans Out When He's Feeling Bored of It. This is foreshadowing of evil to come. Carlo Ancelotti's eyebrow knows this...

Leo Messi can't wait to grab Michel Platini's hand. (Getty)

Andres Iniesta won the 2012 UEFA Best Player in Europe award, beating out heavily favored accolade vacuums Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. It was a surprising recognition from journalists representing each of UEFA's 53 member nations who voted live at the Champions League draw.

Messi, of course, scored a world record 73 goals last season and Ronaldo led Real Madrid to a La Liga title while also reaching the Champions League semifinals and Euro 2012 semifinals while also scoring 63 goals himself. But Iniesta won Euro 2012 with Spain and was also named player of the tournament in addition to his often overlooked contributions to Barca.

The result seemed a bit unexpected by everyone, including Andres. Here's his reaction to hearing his name...

(@KCommons15)

Spirits are high at Celtic. It's all but won the next few seasons' worth of Scottish Premier League titles since the Glasgow Rangers were liquidated and placed in the Third Division, and on Wednesday it booked a place in the Champions League group stage. In fact, these early successes have come so easy that the Celtic players had the time to cover teammate Mohamed Bangura's Audi in Post-it notes.

Joe Ledley and Kris Commons tweeted pictures of their artistic efforts (with help from captain Scott Brown). And as lovely as the front of the car looks, the back is even better...

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

This isn't really Julio Cesar crying over his move to QPR, but it is pretty funny. [YouTube]

Laurent Koscielny: The man who doesn't make sense. [F365]

There are no such things as "fake transfer rumors." [TFB]

These are grown men who go out in public wearing full kits (they are also not footballers). [RichardP1975]

Raheem Sterling needs nurturing not adulation. [Life's a Pitch]

A former DC United player is suing the club for $12 million. No, it's not Freddy Adu. [KCKRS]

New-look Milan taking long road back to the top. [Pitchside Europe]

Being Theo Walcott. [Surreal Football]

All Michael Owen transfer rumors apparently started by Michael Owen. [BotN]

After two early goals from Real Madrid gave them a 4-3 lead on aggregate in the Supercopa de Espana and Barcelona midfielder Adriano was sent off for an American football tackle on Cristiano Ronaldo, Leo Messi did what Leo Messi does to get his side back in it.

With a free kick in good position from a distance, Lionel Messi got a goal back for Barcelona just before halftime. He curled a bullet around the wall that Real Madrid keeper Iker Casillas had no chance to save and just like that, what was shaping up to be a terrible day for Barcelona was suddenly a little less terrible.

UPDATE: That Messi goal proved to be the last of the tie and Real won the Supercopa on away goals. This marks the first time Real Madrid have won the Supercopa since 2008, and after they edged out Barca to win La Liga last season, this could reinforce a swing in momentum in the rivalry atop Spanish football back their way. At least until the next Clasico on Oct. 7, where Barcelona will try to further chip away