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Bearded fireball Rino Gattuso has been lined up to become Palermo's next manager following the club's relegation from Serie A once he ends his contract with Swiss club FC Sion. As he prepares to try and ride the mechanical bull that is the Palermo manager's seat, Gattuso has made it clear that he isn't afraid of owner Maurizio Zamparini's history of going through managers like tissues in flu season.

From Football Italia:

“I am completing the paperwork with Sion to terminate the contract early,” he told Sky Sport Italia.

“Am I afraid of President Maurizio Zamparini’s reputation for hiring and firing? No, the only thing I fear is death!

“We will do what is best for Palermo, if this marriage goes through. We talked and expressed our mutual respect. I can certainly say my playing days are over, as I can no longer take the medication I need to continue."

That medication? Elephant tranquilizers. It's the only way he can harness his fury. As for his fear of death, we can only assume that it

With Neymar gone, Santos earned their first win of the Brasileiro campaign, beating Atletico-MG 1-0. Perhaps feeling a little jealous that Atletico-MG still have their star player, Santos seemed to target Ronaldinho in the first half, with a challenge from behind that was followed by defender Gustavo Henrique kicking the ball at Ronaldinho's head.

Luckily for Ronaldinho, Henrique apparently isn't very accurate. He was, however, shown a yellow card for what he did.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

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The Nigeria squad missed their flight to the Confederations Cup after a disappointing 1-1 draw against Namibia in World Cup qualifying on Wednesday. According to Reuters, the players went on strike when they didn't receive the bonus money they were due after the Namibia game. Their first Confederations Cup match is scheduled for Monday against minnows Tahiti in Belo Horizonte, Brazil.

From Reuters:

"They are declining to leave," Namibia Football Association general secretary Barry Rukoro told Reuters. "They were supposed to go at 11 a.m. this morning but they say they are owed money by their association and want it sorted before they will leave the hotel.

"Their officials all departed on an earlier flight this morning but the players and the technical staff are still here. So far there is no indication they are leaving."

Sources said the Nigerian players were angry over unpaid bonus money promised to them after they beat Kenya in a World Cup qualifier last week.

Nigeria needed an

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Italian national public broadcasting company, Rai, apologized for an odd graphics error at halftime of Italy's "embarrassing" 2-2 draw against Haiti in a friendly on Tuesday. After Juventus midfielder Emanuele Giaccherini gave Italy a 1-0 lead in the first minute of play, Rai showed the score at the bottom of the screen. Except they showed it as "Pepepepepe 1-0 Quaquauquaqua."

They did, however, correctly attribute the goal to Giaccherini. So at least they had that going for them.

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Barcelona are closing in on a deal that will send midfielder Cesc Fabregas to Coupe de France winners Bordeaux. The move is a result of new testing from Dr. Xavi, Barcelona's leading scientist in the field of why Jose Mourinho is terrible, that proves that Fabregas never had Barcelona DNA as previously thought when he joined Barca from Arsenal in 2011.

"Upon hearing the fans jeer Cesc Fabregas this season, I decided to order a new round of testing on his DNA," said Dr. Xavi on the condition of anonymity. "And the findings were incredible. He actually has 100 percent Bordeaux DNA. So in accordance with UEFA's nonexistent club DNA bylaws, Cesc will be sold to the French club immediately. I have no idea how this mix-up occurred, but it had to be Jose Mourinho's fault somehow because he is terrible and both I and Barcelona are perfect. Be sure you write that."

Arsenal retained the right to first refusal after selling Fabregas to Barcelona, but manager Arsene Wenger said the club will

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Spanish tax authorities have accused Lionel Messi and his father of tax fraud over a four-year period totaling €4 million. The fraud allegedly began when Messi, who is now one of the highest paid athletes in the world, was still underage and had his father in charge of his finances. But Messi took to his Facebook page, with its 46 million "likes," to deny any wrongdoing from either him or his father.

From the Guardian:

A complex network of companies based in Britain, Switzerland, Belize and Uruguay were allegedly used to keep his income out of the sight of tax authorities.

"The initiative to commit fraud came from his father," tax authorities said, according to Spain's EFE news agency.

Tax prosecutors have lodged a writ at a court in Gava, the Mediterranean beachside town outside Barcelona where Messi lives.

The court has yet to decide whether it will open a case against the man who has been Fifa's world player of the year for a record-breaking four seasons in a row.

According to the

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The United States beat Panama 2-0 in front of more than 40,000 loud and delightful fans in Seattle. They are now on top of the CONCACAF World Cup qualification table with a game in hand on Mexico. Just to be clear, they are not Spain and they have not cemented their World Cup qualification just yet. But after this latest performance, USA fans should feel something they're not used to feeling: Contentment with the state of the team.

Over the last two weeks, the United States has played four matches and the improvement from game to game has been consistent and as clear as a Jermaine Jones yellow card. First, they played a friendly against Belgium and were simply outplayed by a very talented team, losing 4-2. Four days later, they played a friendly against a second-choice Germany squad and got off to a great start before defensive errors forced the team to scramble to hold on for a 4-3 win.

Five days after that, the USA again got off to a very comfortable start in their World Cup qualifier

Argentina midfielder Javier Mascherano earned one of the more bizarre red cards you'll see when he kicked the driver of the injury cart that was transporting him off the pitch during his side's World Cup qualifier in Ecuador. The incident happened in the 87th minute with the score at 1-1 after two goals were scored early in the first half. Mascherano was laying on a stretcher in the back of the cart as it headed towards the tunnel. It's unclear what upset the Barcelona player, but he lashed out and kicked the driver twice before getting out of the cart. Apparently the effects of his injury disappeared once the anger took hold.

The referee then showed him a straight red card, which shocked the notoriously short-tempered Mascherano. The match ended in a 1-1 draw.

UPDATE: Mascherano has explained himself and apologized. From ESPN:

Reflecting on the incident, Mascherano said: "I feel ashamed. You must always be against violence. The truth is I made a mistake. It is not nice that you get