All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

They list Steve Nash's hometown as "Canada." [YouTube]

What Fernando Torres was thinking just before his big miss. [KCKRS]

Breaking down Arsenal's broken defense. [RoP]

Andre Villas-Boas bucks Premier League trend and acts professional in the face of referee mistakes. [Footy Blog]

Really? They had to have Giggs chatting up the flight attendant? [Kickette]

Pia Sundhage and Megan Rapinoe provide the music accompaniment to a team dinner. [YouTube]

Never take guff from NFL fans again: Players in their league dive, too. [Shutdown Corner]

Leandro Damiao: A superstar under the radar. [IBWM]

How spontaneous rule changes would improve football. [WSC]

Zonal marking explained. [The Gaffer]

Fernando Torres' case of clownfoot is spreading. [Studs Up]

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Now that Ronaldo has retired from the game, he has more free time to save the lives of strangers while visiting foreign cities. According to Globo and newspaper O Dia, Ronaldo saved a photographer from a certain doom in the streets of New York on Monday, while in town for a charity event, no less.

The report says that he was surrounded by paparazzi after leaving an Italian restaurant on Madison Avenue. One photographer was standing in the middle of the street, snapping away and completely unaware of a truck coming his way. Ronaldo spotted it, though, and "ran into the street" to save him, prompting applause from others at the scene.

Given that description, we can assume the truck wasn't going terribly fast. Still, this will hopefully serve as the basis for a superhero movie about O Fenomeno that opens with him eating a spaghetti dinner and then saving New York from a big rig recklessly driven by Maradona. It will make more money than "Avatar."

Photo: AP

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Fenerbahce were ordered to play two matches behind closed doors after fans stormed the pitch during a friendly against Shakhtar Donetsk. But instead of forcing the team and their opponents to play in the emotionless void of an empty stadium, the Turkish FA amended the rules to avoid this and to show the troublemakers what they were missing out on by allowing only women and children under 12 to attend matches played by teams sanctioned for fan violence.

The novel idea was put into practice for Fenerbahce's match on Tuesday and it already seems to be a success.

From the AP:

On Tuesday, Fenerbahce handed out free tickets and more than 41,000 women and children attended the game against Manisaspor in Istanbul. Women formed long lines around Sukru Saracoglu stadium, some carrying babies in the team's colors, for an opportunity to watch the club.

Before the game, Fenerbahce and Manisaspor players tossed flowers at the fans. The visiting team was greeted with applause, instead of the

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Following a 4-0 loss to Spurs, Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard is set to return from his long injury layoff at a time when the club needs a spark. And he could be it. The following is a transcript of Gerrard's most recent planning session with Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish.

Dalglish: Steven, how are you feeling?

Gerrard: Great. I feel like Batman, but if Batman had a super strong groin that could rip a dictionary in half and teach disabled people to read Chinese.

Dalglish: That's, uh, that's good, Steven. Because we could really use you back on the pitch.

Gerrard: I know. I was just talking to Stewart Downing because I'm a nice guy and I don't want people to feel lonely. And he was like, "Oh, Steven Gerrard, we really need you back because your hair is combed so perfect and you're the best captain ever who doesn't have a boat." And I was like, "Actually I do have a boat and it's name is the Xabi Titanic." And he was like "..." and I was like "..."

Dalglish: I don't see what that

This young goalkeeper seems to employ the unusual tactic of standing next to the goal instead of in front of it. Perhaps this was intended to lure the opposing team into a false sense of hope. Maybe she was a bit overconfident in her ability to execute acrobatic diving saves. Whatever the case may be, when the team in white makes a break for her goal, she springs into action and- smacks her face right into the post while they score on her empty net.

At the end of the clip, someone off camera is heard saying, "Is she down already?" in a way that makes it sound like this happens quite often, but not usually this early in the match.

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Bayern Munich players wearing lederhosen is nothing new. But, as 19-year-old Japanese winger Takashi Usami and his excited thumb clearly show, it's always enjoyable. So, here are some choice photos from their sponsor shoot for Paulaner Lederhosen on Monday...

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Bayern manager Jupp Heynckes takes a more serious approach to the Captain Morgan stance. He's also silently judging you for some of the other websites you visited before coming here.

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Forget basketball jerseys, Jerome Boateng just started the new hipster trend.

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And Toni Kroos wonders why everyone came dressed as him today.

Photos: Getty

As Deadspin points out, the new Player Impact Engine that is supposed to make in-game collisions more realistic in FIFA 12 (and its recently released demo) has already spawned a whole genre of YouTube videos called "FIFA impact fail." That's obviously not a good thing a week away from the game's full release.

Though there have been many complaints about the oversensitivity to the slightest of touches in the demo, the video above shows that it has actually made Gerard Pique far more realistic. Given the fact that Pique is increasingly known for his many public displays of affection with both Shakira and former teammates, his touchy style of play in this clip appears to be spot on.

Granted, this could just be a problem with the demo that will be fixed in the actual game. And by "problem" I of course mean the fact that Pique does not start bleeding from the head at any point in this like he does in real life.

Real Madrid suffered their first loss of the season to Levante on Sunday and as with any match that doesn't go their way, it included it's share of oddities. The turning point of the match came late in the first half when Angel Di Maria responded to a shove in the back from one Levenate player by going in with a two-footed lunge on another right in the front of the linesman.

A stand-off ensued and Di Maria decided to be even more horrible by invoking the power of Sergio Busquets to fall down and clutch his face after no contact whatsoever. Though Di Maria was only shown a yellow for all of this, Sami Khedira was sent off with his second booking for a light shove while trying to defend his teammate. So, after the match, Jose Mourinho decided to blame him for the loss (and not, say, Angel Di Maria). From Reuters:

"The blame in my opinion lies with one of my players who was lured into a trap," Mourinho told a news conference.

"In part he is responsible for the defeat, I have no