Even though it's from FIFA 12, and thus, not real, this clip is still the most painful thing you're likely to see today. This version of Nani got up a lot quicker from this than the real one would've, though.

Anyway, video game Nani has to liquify all his food now.

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On Saturday, Luey Jacob Sharp, the 2-day-old son of Doncaster Rovers striker Billy Sharp (No. 10, pictured above) and his wife Jade, passed away. Because of this, Sharp was understandably expected to miss Tuesday's Npower Championship match against Middlesbrough. But this expectation underestimated Sharp's determination to pay tribute to his son the best way he knew how. And as Doncaster manager Dean Saunders said after the game, Sharp made it clear that he wanted to be out there.

From the BBC:

"He rung me and asked if he could play - he wanted to play. He wanted to score a goal for his son and his family and he was ready to go. When he said that to me I couldn't really refuse."

So Sharp was put back in the starting XI after missing Saturday's match against Coventry and he was given the captain's armband before leading his team out for the start of his tribute.

Before kick-off, Sharp requested a message be read to supporters ahead of the minute's applause [pictured above].

The message

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Since Antonio Cassano was taken to the neurology department of a Milan hospital on Saturday night after his club returned from Saturday's win in Rome, worrying rumors have come out about his condition. Mainly, that he suffered a stroke. Though Milan said on Tuesday that they will release a "clarifying statement" on Wednesday, that did little to calm fears about the 29-year-old striker's condition.

But after Zlatan Ibrahimovic opened the scoring in Milan's 1-1 Champions League draw against BATE in the 22nd minute, Kevin-Prince Boateng revealed their tribute to Cassano by taking off his shirt to show he was wearing Cassano's No. 99 underneath. And making the tribute even better was the fact that the referee must not have seen it (or chose to ignore it), because Boateng wasn't booked for taking off his shirt.

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

Wayne Rooney is the new Robert De Niro. [The FCF]

Stu Holden's mom was injured Stu Holden for Halloween. [KCKRS]

The best football trophies ever. Ever! [TBG]

Mascot punched by fan doesn't want him banned because the club needs fans. [Kickette]

Rio Ferdinand is now a squad player. [Footy Blog]

Race, language and symbolism. [RoP]

No more jokes at Newcastle. Well, except Mike Ashley. [Life's a Pitch]

Mario Balotelli using his teammates as transportation. [DT Facebook]

A YouTube video about Joe Hart watching YouTube videos. [YouTube]

One of the team doctors for Russian Premier League side Terek Grozny didn't realize his cooler was open as he jogged out to treat goalkeeper Soslan Dzhanaev during a match against Krylia Sovetov. So as he ran, its contents spilled out, leaving a trail of supplies along the pitch, which the medic then proceeded to pick up one by one as fast as he could while his partner stalled for him by liberally applying magic spray to Dzhanaev.

Speed this clip up, add a slide whistle and you've got a fine addition to any football bloopers VHS from 1993.

Video via Bola nas costas

Other popular stories on Yahoo! Sports:
• Mexican soccer club puts players' Twitter handles on jerseys
• Lou Gehrig's last home run bat has ties to famous actor's dad
• Dodgers make history with female trainer

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Steven Gerrard gave Liverpool fans an unwanted surprise when he was pictured wearing a protective cast that the club's official website explains is part of his treatment for an ankle infection that sprung from a cut he sustained during training. This latest injury setback will keep him out a few weeks, but how the cut got infected remains a mystery. Until now. The following is a transcript of Gerrard's recent conversation with team doctor Zaf Iqbal.

Iqbal: How are you feeling today, Steven?

Gerrard: Fantastic. I feel like a winning lottery ticket, but one that has a leg that's turning green and might fall off soon.

Iqbal: Hmm, well, just by looking at your ankle it does appear to be infected even though we cleaned it up when you got the cut. Any idea how that happened?

Gerrard: I have no clue. I took the bandage off to show Craig Bellamy how tough I was with a cut on my ankle and he was like "Oh, Steven Gerrard, that looks pretty nasty. You must be super tough to have that and not

Goal celebration goosing wasn't the only recent indignity in the Iranian league. Just 16 seconds into a match against Esteghlal, Mes Sarcheshmeh's Nader Fathollahi was shown a red card for his awkward challenge on Andranik Teymourian that involved using his crotch to take his opponent down.

Though that's certainly a quick end to the day for most footballers, it's not the quickest. Ebbsfleet goalkeeper Preston Edwards was sent off 10 seconds into a Conference South match just last season. Then there's the three-second red card of Non-League player David Pratt. So, compared to that Fathollahi had a long run-out.

Video via 101gg

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For years, many have wondered about the secret to Andre Pirlo's impressive head of hair. And now, to mark the Halloween holiday, Juventus' official website has released this undoctored picture of Pirlo under a full moon.

You see, Andre Pirlo is a werewolf. And not the silly Twilight kind -- a real one. Like Michael J. Fox.

For more Juve players as various ghouls (and Gigi Buffon as The Crow), check the club's Facebook page.