This year's Most Valueless Dog has posted sauer-ful power numbers. (USP)

Around grills this holiday weekend the Trevor Plouffe's of processed meats, the hot dog, will be devoured in mass quantities.

Frankly speaking, these versatile mystery meats are formed from unknown ingredients no human wants to know the true origin of — mechanically separated "beef," sodium erythorbate, unknown "flavorings." In a phrase, they are unsettlingly fantastic.

Coming off solid 2011 campaigns, this year's saured class of tubed meats, if consumed, were also expected to satisfy the stomach. Acquire them, fanalysts and seasoned owners reasoned in March, and investors were sure to relish consistent production. After all, fantasy commodities, in terms of statistical contribution, are supposed to get plumper when you draft 'em.

However, these Lil Smokies have delivered only shriveled results.

Swelled strikeout rates, dramatic GB/FB shifts and pedestrian SB paces have charred their reputations, leaving many owners queasy. No amount of mustard or, for the evildoers in attendance, ketchup (Anyone who drenches their dog in communist sauce is a hammer and sickle-wielding Bolshevik), have masked the bitter taste. Suffice it to say, for the millions who sank their teeth into the once desired commodities, persistent heartburn and 0-fers have followed.

In honor of holiday barbecues and Joey Chestnuts everywhere, here is the Eighth Annual All-Wiener Team (fantasy underachievers least impacted by injury):

Philly's miggity-miggity-miggity-miggity Mac daddy is about to undergo a value jump. (USP)

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said it best, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

For Jeremy Maclin that pearl of wisdom couldn't ring truer.

At this point last year, the wideout's thoughts couldn't have been further from football. A mysterious illness, initially thought to be lymphoma, hijacked his body. It was a scary time. Weakness ensued. Pounds dropped. Insomnia kicked in. Instead of worrying about learning new wrinkles in Marty Mornhinweg's offense, he was simply trying to live to fight another day.

Eventually, when his fever lifted and appetite returned, all seemed right again. But a different set of challenges awaited the hard-luck receiver over the next few months.

Exuding the toughness of a heavyweight boxer, Maclin attempted to power through. Though hampered by additional nicks and scrapes, including a shoulder injury that cost him three games from Weeks 11-13, the Missouri product managed to post respectable numbers. His 63 catches for 859 yards and five touchdowns nearly matched his production over 16 games the year before.

Overall, he ranked as a low-end WR2 in 12-team leagues (8.9 ppg, WR24), proving to be a fantasy difference-maker during the most opportune time. His combined 13 receptions for 179 yards and a touchdown against division rivals Dallas and Washington in Weeks 16 and 17 were huge for trophy seekers.

Expect him to pick up where he left off.

Ragnar is hoping Peterson cuts a lot of rug this year. (USP)

Over the past week, no player has been scrutinized more than Adrian Peterson. On Roto Arcade, hundreds of anti and pro-AD words were authored presenting owners with both sides of the intense "To draft or not to draft" debate.

On this week's Freak Show, Brandon Funston threw his hat into the ring explaining his side in the matter. Additional fireworks on the running back carousel in Washington, Jeremy Maclin, Randy Moss, among other controversies, were also discussed.

Meanwhile in hour two, our fanalysts reacted to Trevor Bauer's debut and the resurrection of Chase Utley. And we also tossed in our two cents on the NBA draft.

Too busy waxing your chest for "Magic Mike?" No problem. Listen to the replays below:

LISTEN TO PART I (NFL) HERE

LISTEN TO PART II (MLB) HERE

LISTEN TO PART III (NBA) HERE

Peterson's return from a devastating knee injury remains an uphill battle. (USP)

Freak. Superhuman. Intelligent machine.

That's what Adrian Peterson is. At least, to those who believe his astonishing recovery from a catastrophic knee injury last Christmas Eve is nearly complete.

It's true the quick-healing rusher's protoplasm, as one trainer recently described it, is "different from the rest of the world." He's darting past teammates in sprinting drills, making rudimentary cuts and experiencing no residual pain roughly six months into his recovery. To owners who continue to acquire his services in the second or, in some rare cases, first round of drafts, the optimism is intoxicating.

However, the smart player knows better than to drink and draft.

To be fair, local reports do inspire confidence. Vikings coach Leslie Frazier and Peterson himself are adamant he will run out of the Metrodome tunnel Week 1 versus Jacksonville. Whether or not he'll be the starter, though, is another story. According to beat writer Tom Pelissero, the four-time Pro Bowler could actually play second fiddle to Toby Gerhart, at least initially:

Rizzo's ridiculous production at Iowa has owners thinking big. (USP)

Mention the name Anthony Rizzo to anyone associated with or a fan of the Chicago Cubs and salivary glands start working overtime.

The Pavlovian effect he's triggered is completely warranted.

As expected, it's been an unbearable three months at the Friendly Confines. And that's an understatement. Krispy Kreams have dominated the box score. Bullpen implosions have ruined quality starts. Tight games have slipped away. The Cubs, on pace to lose 105 games, which would be the most in franchise history, are about to write another chapter in futility. One-hundred four years and counting.

Rizzo to the rescue.

Seemingly everyone in the fantasy community has a strong opinion about Randy. (USP)

All it takes is a simple yet direct opinion.

Thursday night sipping on Three Olives while watching the Miami Heat dismantle OKC, a clear thought entered the Noise's normally polluted head. Of course, the sudden stroke of "genius" didn't exceed 140 characters. Blasted out on Twitter, the seemingly benign statement reached followers' iPads, cellphones and laptops in the blink of an eye, a spark that, surprisingly, ignited a firestorm.

Who knew Randy Moss was still that relevant? The conversation:

Dumbfounding.

Maybe, just maybe, Chad Ocho...Johnson will give these kids something to cheer about. (USP)

Change is inevitable.

In this day and age of exorbitant contracts and selfish attitudes, team loyalty is often compromised. No surprise, it's extremely rare players stick in one location throughout their entire career.

Percy Harvin could be the latest example.

On this week's in-depth show, Brad Evans and Scott Pianowski addressed the mess in Minnesota along with tasty tidbits on the running back rotation in Atlanta and Reggie Bush's new role on South Beach. Also, the tag-team partners played doctor diagnosing the values of Matthew Stafford versus Drew Brees.

Meanwhile in hour numero dos our heros we touched 'em all, discussing Tulo, Dickey and sticky bullpens in Detroit, Milwaukee and Washington.

Too busy watching Honest Abe behead vampires? No problem. Listen to the replays or download the podcasts below:

LISTEN TO HOUR 1 HERE (NFL)

LISTEN TO HOUR 2 HERE (MLB)

If demands are not met, Harvin is content staying on the sidelines in Minnesota. (USP)

Clearly, Percy Harvin is one unhappy mini-camper.

The explosive receiver, coming off his finest season to date, is not pleased about his current situation. Refreshingly, unlike with holdouts Matt Forte and Maurice Jones-Drew, money may not be the primary factor. Instead, Harvin's main resentment rests in on-field issues. Tuesday he told those in charge he wants to find a new employer as soon as possible. From the AP:

One day after expressing frustration over several unspecified issues with the Vikings, a person with knowledge of the situation told The Associated Press on Wednesday that Harvin has requested a trade.

Harvin voiced frustration with the Vikings on Tuesday at the first day of mandatory minicamp. He did not say what his specific issues were with the team, only saying that he was unhappy with several things and wanted them addressed before training camp begins at the end of July.

''I just put it this way, there's a lot of different things that have to be sorted out,'' Harvin said Tuesday. ''Just haven't been really happy lately. We've got a couple of things to work on. I'm here in the classroom. We'll go from there. …''

''I'm going to be honest with you guys. I've been watching tape, but it's just working on things from last year,'' Harvin said when asked about the offense. ''I'm into it, but like I said, I'm not happy with things, so I haven't really been in tune to (personnel) and stuff right now.

Bombshell dropped.

Many would describe Harvin's demands as laughable, baseless posturing by another spoiled Richie Rich. After all, this is a receiver, who despite his sensational talents, is a walking infirmary. A long history of migraines and other ailments (His latest: shoulder surgery) have prevented him from reaching his full potential. Critics would say he has to earn the right to make such a bold statement.

However, Percy has a point.